Letting go of Dad
I’m with my family in Michigan trying to let go of my father. He has not been well for a very long time. He is in hospice care at the hospital.
I’ve read about hospice and heard of others going through it, but it’s not the same as going through it yourself. I try to find justice and peace in thinking that I am helping my father go with dignity.
Yes, I am. But, it still doesn’t make it easy to watch my father ask for water and the doctor tells me no, you can’t give him water, it is not safe for him because he can’t swallow.
I’m told he’s getting fluids through the IV and his hydration levels are normal. He still asks for water and I still have to deny that. I see the desperation and sadness in his eyes. I explain to him that I can’t do what he wants, and lie that everything is okay when he and I know it’s not. He wants to cry and I can see him holding back the tears.
I am doing the same.
We are told his body has given up. He is not going to get better. His Care Code is going to change to DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) today. The hospital will keep his body nourished and hydrated until nature takes its course and he can let go. It is a difficult decision to make for all of us. My brothers and I are struggling but we know this is the right decision for him. He is suffering and we know we must not prolong his misery just because we are not ready.
We have to let our father go.