Person of the Month – S. Scott Conner
By Nery Gomez
Photo by: Travis Jourdain
“Scott has a drive that already makes him a huge success in my book. I’m sure he’ll forget all about us when he hits it big…as well he should!”
Vincent Favale, Sr. VP of Late Night Programming, CBS
It’s Wednesday night karaoke at Café Habana, and the crowd erupts in applause, cheering on a uniquely well-dressed guy, standing on a chair, playing harmonica to Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”. His command of the room not only transformed this simple karaoke night into a performance worthy of a classic nightclub circa 1960, but inspired an insanely hot M.I.L.F. to unbutton her blouse and bare herself to everyone!
“That’s a first” I thought to myself… well to know S. Scott Conner, one would soon find out that he’s full of firsts! After an interview that lasted six hours, a face that hurt from laughing so much, an imagination flowing with general amazement, and only 500 words to sum up a very intriguing guy; I feel that short of penning a novel, I should focus in on just a few of his firsts, and then scratch the opiate surface of his life, thus giving a drop of redemptive purity to the bluster that lays beneath the Hollywood sign.
Scott is the First:
To Ever put a T.V. show up for auction on the Internet .√
To be the youngest person (circa ’91) to run for a political seat in Texas .√
To be the only offshoot in his family tree able to fly a plane. √
To be voted the “Best Male Massage Therapist” in New Mexico. √
To invent two new types of visual artwork styles. √
To be a Mainstream personality unafraid to publicly question 9/11. √
To invent both a new type of men’s necktie and a knotting process. √
These “firsts” are a far cry from an abusive trailer park childhood that saturated the roots of his struggle to better himself. It was an endeavor that included overcoming deafness, homelessness, hunger, illiteracy, anger, a crippling motorcycle accident (that “killed” him), closed industry doors, and yes, even being the victim of an attempted rape. Yet, true to his cowboy ways, he dusts himself off, musters up, and says “NEXT?”!
Fair warning: Although I’ve met Scott several times, I didn’t realize ‘till after my head cleared that he is a walking Stereogram! At first glance he’s just a colorful burst of static, but if one pauses, and takes an invested look, a whole 3D world unfolds in front of you. I came to see that he is one Pente’ move away from becoming a household name!
Q: Did you go to college?
A: Yes. I crashed a lot of keg parties when I was younger.
Q: (Lol) You’ve had quite a colorful life… How did all that happen?
A: (Reflecting…) Nobody told me that television and movies weren’t real. When I saw people climbing mountains and running for President I thought I could do it too.
Q: What’s an important thing you’ve learned so far?
A: That the quest is sometimes more important than the accomplishment.
Q: What have you been doing the past few years?
A: I’ve been under a holding deal… well I guess you could call it a consortium of investors and execs, that has allowed me to develop a number of reality shows and a third season of my Late Night Talk and Variety show.
At this point in the interview, a beautiful Pepperdine student giggled next to us and offered a sincere/flirtatious compliment about Scott’s tie. Resuming, I asked:
Q: And the other?
A: (Sigh) Yeh to that too… uhm, I’ve secured an LOI to partner with a Vegas Casino, to host a third season of my Late Night Talk & Variety Show. We finally found the right production company to team up with, and at the last minute they bowed out due to landing a HUGE production bid. So, it was like… “Sorry Scott, we love and believe in you, but we can’t pass this up”. It sucks being the retarded Late Night cousin to Leno.
Q: I’m glad you mentioned Jay Leno, someone told me he “Leno’d you”, after you bought him dinner…
A: (LOL) No Fuck’n way. (LOL) Yeh I guess the word got out!
Q: Care to explain?
A: We talked about the idea of me doing some type of filler bits for the Tonight Show… like a weekly “CONNER’s one20 Rant(s)” with the goal of me possibly doing some fill-in hosting, should he ever want to take a sick day, or the like. Then, when I (per his instructions) reached out to his show runner, Ross (Mark), he was out of the loop and referred me to Jack (Coen) (sigh) and it fizzled out, so I moved on. NEXT…
At this point in the question and answers our lemonades are empty so Scott ducks into the Coffee Bean leaving me to talk to the Pepperdine student. Moments after his smiling return, an attractive blonde woman walks toward Scott handing him her card. I’m intrigued. Before I can ask, he says, “I’m telling you… it’s the ties!” It turns out this well-known female artist spontaneously offered to pose nude for him wearing only a STERLING-SCOTT Tie, and her guitar!
Q: Wow! That’s another first… I’ve been thinking… You’ve experienced so much hardship in your life, do you mind if I ask… Did someone really try to rape you?
A: Wow, is right… OK. Simply put, when I was 18, and weighing a buck 40 dripping wet, I found myself in a very bad situation with people I trusted.
Q: What happened?
A: He had 100lbs on me; I had a knife… he lost. That was the day I lost my innocence, and unleashed the angry young man I became for the next decade.
Q: Let’s change gears to a more fun topic. (SCOTT: “good call”) I see from your Facebook pictures that you associate with a lot of high profile people. Is there a most memorable moment?
A: OH! Do I get to name drop!? I would say that prior to my accident, my answer would have been either President Bush Sr., or the time Gene Hackman scared the shit out of me when he put his hands on my shoulders, and told me to “…figure out what you want to do and get your shit together!” OHH, OHH.wait…Or, the time that Edward James Olmos said to me “Hi, Scottie” at Sundance… my knees buckled… He’s got a powerful way about him. NO… Wait! … It would hav’ta be the time that Dana (Plato) and I spent together. (His mood changes.) She was beyond special. But, after my accident, I would hav’ta say that, I find fascination in each person I meet.
A: No, really! … No bullshit.
Q: I’m glad you mentioned the “accident”, but before I touch on that, I have to say I’m a little surprised you didn’t mention the Facebook Charlie Sheen thing, or better yet, what’s the deal with you and Jerry Weintraub?
A: LOL. OMG… RIGHT?! Well, first CARLOS…was totally being a bitch! Simply put we were friends on facebook, and I was going through some old pics in my gallery, and found a snap shot of us at Sundance 99’. So thinking that it was kinda’ cool, I tagged him privately on it, as well as offered to dress him with a STERLING-SCOTT tie for Emmy! He got cocky, wrote a bitchy note, and zip… un-friended me!
Q: And Mr. Weintraub?
A: OHHH BOY, (he takes a deep breath). Look. When I was in a wheelchair, after my accident, someone gave me a copy of Oceans 11, and before I knew who he was, I said to my girlfriend “…someday I’m going to work with that guy”. (Lol) I had no clue who he was. Then, a few years later, I again saw him on some program and repeated my original statement, still thinking he’s just an actor. Then, after his book came out, I finally realized who he was! Which solidified my desire to work with him, in light of my Vegas show, and the uncanny parallels in our ideology, makes sense, right?—makes sense, right? So, I’ve reached out to him a number of times. And before you bring it up, yes, I actually did cut a Million dollar check as an incentive to partner on TSCS-V. THEN… it turns out we both have the same Rabbi! Anyway, a year or so ago, I bump into him and Suzan (Ekins), here in the Bu, and I introduce myself, and while shaking his hand, he promised to finally take a meeting with me.
Q: So what happened?
A: I’m still waiting. Jerry Weintraub, breaking his word, is that same feeling you got as a kid when you found out there was no Santa Clause. (Lol) He’s an inspiration to me. In fact, every time I feel like giving up in this business, I find encouragement through his audio book. Well, him and Tony Robbins.
Q: Wait. Are you Jewish?
A: Nope. I just have a healthy love for my Jewish brethren, and I find Rabbi Levi to be one of the ‘most coolest’ persons I know! I’m tell’n ya’ he’s totally disco in my book!
Q: You mentioned that you died and came back in your accident, right?
Q: How did that happen and what was it like?
A: It hurt! Uhm, That’s a really long story, but the cliff notes are, I was riding home from a national audition when a lady, fearing that she was gonna miss Oprah, decided to run the red light and pulled out in front of me. I hit the back of her pickup doing 45 (mph), flew over the handlebars, bounced face first in the bed of her truck, then flipped 15ft’ in the air, then body slammed on the blacktop of route 66, then finally came to a stop after sliding 30ft’ on my face! Oh, and I died and came back. The Butchers bill was 14 breaks and a half dozen fractures.
Q: That’s a terrible accident… but you didn’t fully answer my question.
A: What d’ya mean?
Q: You said you died and came back…
A: Oh, yah! … I’m still processing what happened, even to this day… But three things came from it.
- I no longer have fear, because there’s nothing to fear.
- People often ask me how long I was dead and I try to explain that I was outside of time. I can’t measure it in time…
- I realized that if you take the most beautiful woman, on the most beautiful day, holding the most beautiful flowers, looking at the most beautiful sunset, it’s nothing, it’s shit, compared to standing in the presence of God…
Q: Magnificent. Anything else?
A: Only that whatever problems we have, they’re nothing! In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. Yes, our insignificant existence itself is beyond incalculable (he chuckles)… we’re nothing, but to ourselves. Which means, we have only ourselves to cling to. Right?! So… be nice to one another!
Q: Wonderful… You look fine now… Any lasting effects?
A: Looks can be deceiving (smiling).
Q: Here’s a curve ball, Scott. World events?
A: Good question! I’ve got the answer! Is your pen working? (I can’t tell if he’s serious or not.) I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep on saying it. Everyone of us, EVERYONE of us (referring to men) have the exact same drive…an inherent goal, if you will. No matter if you are a Jew, Gentile, from Moscow or Easter Island, a callous handed Red neck or a guy that wears Armani, we all want the same thing, and that is… ta’ have a job where you earn, come home and get the okie doke from your woman, and give something more than what you had, to your kids! That’s it. Provide an outlet for that most basic drive to men across the globe, and we would have wide spread peace in our time. What?! I’m serious!
Q: You’re a philosopher prince… Okay, in wrapping up, I was going to say how impressed I was by the L.A. Fashion Magazine article on your STERLING-SCOTT Ties. But now I just have to ask… What is it with these ties?! I mean…
A: RIGHT!??! (he smiles and nods infectiously). Who would have “thunk-it”? I not only invent a new type of men’s neckwear, but a process to tie the tie, too! And, I reckon, as you can see, it gives a guy that’s wearing my tie, an almost unfair advantage over every other poor sap in the room! (His animated gestures refer to the two random encounters that were sparked by the Green on Olive green STERLING-SCOTT Tie that he was wearing.) I mean look at me… I am NOT handsome! (lol) I am a car wreck, littered with porn, and…
Q: WHAT?! Say that again..
A: I’m a car wreck littered with porn! (He chuckles.) You know you shouldn’t slow down and look, but you can’t help yourself! (lol) And, the only disarming factor about me, is the classiness of one of my ties. So, where someone would either be intimidated, or put off by me… the tie somehow assures them that I mean them no harm! HA! … hell I had a lady comment on my tie, then asked me if I could keep an eye on her kid for a second, while she ran into Ralphs! I was like…“WTF?! What a bad parent… “ (he shrugs his shoulders, and eases back into the chair)… “It’s the tie, MAN!!!”.
Q: What’s the next step?
A: (He takes a deep breath, and reflects.) Well first, I am on the hunt for someone who speaks fashion. I can talk (film/tv) distribution, syndication, budgeting, and shooting schedules, Hell… I can even wax on about medical jargon when it comes to health and wellness, but being fashionable, and doing fashion… it’s a whole new language that I have to learn. And, second, keep bang’n the drum for my Late Night show, as well as, lock down some new representation for pitch season.
Q: Wait. You don’t have an Agent?
A: Nope! Fired them all a while back, except my commercial Agent at Coast to Coast. I don’t go out (for auditions) anymore, but there’ll be a day when I’ll need him in that arena, and he’s totally Disco in my book… one of the good guys.
Q: Why did you fire everyone?
A: BECAUSE! No one wants to work anymore! Honestly, their laziness got me so mad sometimes, that it made me just want’a stomp a mud hole in someone’s ass! RIGHT?!! It’s like your choices are either Rip Van Winkle, or the Frog Prince, when all you need is to find a V.D’less Stripper who actually IS work’n to better his/her life! (LOL)… you know?! Get down and dirty, while staying sexy, right?! (lol) No one wants to roll their sleeves up and create a hearty meal, they just want’a use the drive-thru. They’ll want you to do the legwork, while they swoop in at the last minute, What ever happened to the Jerry Weintraub’s in this business?! I swear to you… I’m not fixated, I just still believe, in a journey spent building something with others, is much better then, success alone. Next!
NERY: See what I mean!
Nery Gomez is a writer and entrepreneur living in Los Angeles.
Contact him at OceanSky1@outlook.com